


DILF

by canadino



Category: Gintama
Genre: Apartment AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5536307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dad of the year. Banzai single fathers and tiny daughters with huge appetites.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DILF

The little girl named Kagura in apartment 312 was precocious and adopted. She had been left off in Sakata Gintoki’s care when she was only three by her biological father whom Gintoki did not even know that well with the promise that he would be back for her in due time. Kagura’s father sent a monthly stipend for his services that Gintoki skimmed a bit off the top of if he did not get enough during his gigs to pay off his rent and bills. She was always well-fed and spoiled and seen with food in her hand or food in her mouth. She liked the color red and disliked getting her hair cut if her father wasn’t around and kept her hair tied up in two tiny buns on either side of her head. Gintoki’s handiwork kept them neat and orderly. She wore wide brimmed hats because she was sensitive to the sun and got burnt easily. Gintoki couldn’t afford a stroller so he carried her around on his shoulders most of the time. She was an active child so she walked often but held her hands up for Gintoki to lift her when she was feeling lazy. She was popular at the kindergarten despite being somewhat of a bully and bullheaded and she liked school because the teachers called her cute and doted over her because they knew she didn’t have a mother figure. “You’re a queen,” Gintoki told her when he was in a good mood and made her snacks because he’d recently gotten paid. “You’re a goddess and you can do anything.”

Queen Kagura woke up one morning and found someone in her territory. She recognized him as a moody man who stayed on the elevator when she and Gintoki were on it and said mean things to Gintoki who said mean things back. His name was Takasugi. He was coming out of Gintoki’s bedroom and pulling his jacket on and his hair was wild just like Gintoki’s was usually in the morning. He started when he saw her. Kagura remembered Gintoki sitting in front of the television drinking a beer - and she had a juice whenever he let her stay up until ten with him - and saying that Takasugi was just lonely and he felt sad that Takasugi had to be lonely all by himself. “Oh,” Takasugi said, as he looked at her and then all around the apartment like there were many things calling his name. “Oh, um, good morning.”

“Where’s Gin?” she asked. 

“Gin?” Takasugi turned around and yelled, “Hey asshole, your daughter wants you. Don’t you have to take her to school or something?” She heard Gintoki yell from within his bedroom and suddenly he came up right at the doorway of his bedroom, hovering over Takasugi’s shoulder. 

“Good morning, squirt,” he said to Kagura. He was shirtless and wearing the pair of strawberry print boxers that she had picked out for him when they were shopping for new underwear. He scratched at the stubble that was growing out on his chin; she thought it made him look older and more dad-like, but he liked himself clean-shaven. “What time is it? Am I late?”

“It’s six-o-nine,” she recited from her puppy clock. The apartment did not allow pets so Gintoki had bought her all kinds of dog stuffed animals and trinkets. She named them all Sadaharu. “What’s he doing here?”

“Eh?” Gintoki and Takasugi looked at each other. Kagura scowled because they were taller than her and could do the adult thing where they talked by looking at each other. “Oh, him? He was just sleeping over. Isn’t he such a kid? Only kids sleep over, right?” Takasugi pushed a fist into Gintoki’s stomach. 

“I just stayed over because it was really late for me to go home,” he explained as Gintoki knelt and gripped his stomach.

“You live upstairs,” Kagura said.

“The elevator was broken,” Takasugi said. “And the stairs too. But I think they’re fixed now.”

“Do you want to stay for breakfast?” Gintoki asked. He looked at Kagura, who was staring at him. “Run along now. Brush your teeth, twenty strokes on each side, remember. Make sure you pat your face dry after you wash it.” She listened to him because he said it in the voice he usually had when he wanted her to quickly do as he asked; she would ask him about it later and he would probably hem and haw and not talk about it. “When do you need to be in? I can give you a ride too if you want.”

“I should go,” Kagura heard Takasugi say as she reached the bathroom and closed the door just enough so it seemed like it was occupied but she was listening to them by the sliver in the door. “Why don’t you put on a shirt? You’ll scar her for life, you criminal.”

When Kagura finished brushing her teeth and washing her face, Gintoki was halfway done with making breakfast and Takasugi was nowhere to be seen. She placed her hair ties on the table and fetched her booster seat from the living room to secure to the chair. “Where did he go?”

“Home,” Gintoki said.

“If he was sleeping over, then why wasn’t he wearing pajamas?” She looked at him. “Or does he wear no clothes to sleep like you?”

“I only do that sometimes. I wear pajamas too.” He had bought them matching sets, although hers was pink and his was a dull green blue. “He just borrowed a pair from me.” He put toast and eggs on her plate and after drying his hands, began doing her hair. He had gotten so good at it that he did not use a comb anymore, carefully straightening her hair with his fingers but making sure not to pull too hard. 

“Adults don’t have sleepovers,” Kagura said. “Unless they have sex.” The way she said it, enunciating it in a different way than the rest of her words, meant she did not know what it was but it was a word with Meaning. Gintoki continued tying up her hair without flinching.

“Where did you learn that word?”

“School. Soyo said she heard it on the TV and asked her brother what it meant and he said it was things that adults did at night. And since sleepovers happen at night, it’s what adults do at sleepovers, right?” She gazed up at him. “Because you guys weren’t ‘drinking’ or sleeping, so what else do adults do that kids don’t do too?”

“You’re so smart,” Gintoki said, finishing up one bun. “But don’t say that in front of any other adult. You’ll scare them by how smart you are. And don’t talk to the other kids about it; you get it, but you’ll just confuse them.” 

Kagura shrugged while eating her eggs. “Soyo said she didn’t get it, but adults are weird. Just like when you talk to women who are way prettier than you.”

Gintoki strapped Kagura into the little child’s seat on the back of his Vespa and eased the helmet over her head. Her little book bag went right into the compartment he had attached to the front of the bike. “How were you going to give that man a ride on your bike?” she asked when he settled himself in front of her. “You have no room left.”

Gintoki laughed as he secured his helmet. “He could sit on my lap.”

[=]

Takasugi first met Kagura a year after he moved into the building. The elevator door on an express track to the fifth floor was beginning to close when it suddenly stopped and opened again, and a crying girl was standing right in the opening. Takasugi did not like crying children. She was holding an umbrella that looked broken. There was a man next to her who did not look like her father or her uncle or anyone even remotely related to her, but he was holding her bag and her dripping rain jacket and saying, “Don’t cry, I’ll get you another umbrella. The rain’s just been so heavy the past few days, your umbrella couldn’t handle it.”

“You don’t have money for a new umbrella,” the girl sobbed. “And I really liked this one too!” She walked into the elevator and right into Takasugi’s leg space, as if she did not notice him or did not care. Her umbrella was beginning to drip on his shoe. He tactfully stepped out of her way. The man entered the elevator too and pressed the third floor button.

“Well, you might not have a cute umbrella but I can get you one of the umbrellas from the drug store. What color do you like?”

“I like this umbrella!” the girl cried, and she brandished her broken umbrella and scattered rain all down Takasugi’s front. 

“I’m so sorry!” the man said, quickly pulling the girl toward another corner. She was still sobbing, but she lowered her umbrella and was staring at Takasugi with her tear-filled eyes. “Kagura, apologize.” Since he had nothing else in his hands, he brought up the girl’s wet raincoat to attempt to dry Takasugi’s coat.

“Don’t touch me with that! I’ll have you know this is expensive and needs to be dry cleaned.” The coat wasn’t his idea or choice; his father had bought it for him for a birthday, after proclaiming loudly that Takasugi had access to all his wealth but still dressed like an everyday man. It was unnecessary but a formal courtesy whenever he met up with his father. “Just teach your kid to stop being a menace.”

The man’s expression darkened. “Kagura is young and may have bad manners but she isn’t a menace. You don’t have any children, do you? You probably don’t even have a girlfriend with your attitude.”

“I’ll have you know I’m very popular with the ladies. The only lady you’ll ever have is this pipsqueak and not even at her choosing.”

“Her mother is quite a looker, and she thinks I’m great and hot stuff and...”

“Mommy would never have looked at you,” Kagura said. She looked up at Takasugi. “Sorry, I guess,” she said absentmindedly, as if it were only words. “Don’t fight with the man in black, Gin. He’s going to give you all his sad and mad.”

“I’m not sad or mad...!” But the elevator reached the third floor and the two got off, leaving puddles of water on the elevator floor. 

“Bye, sad and mad man,” the man said. The girl stuck out her tongue too, all sadness over her umbrella forgotten. Takasugi bristled, but the elevator door was closing and their faces were leering at him but he was going to be the better man and let them off with a warning. The building was large and had many apartments on each floor. It would be his luck - or misfortune - to ever run into them again.

“Ah, Shinsuke.” Yoshida Shouyou was an accomplished author, but declined many interviews and book signing events. He liked to live his life in his own solitary terms. Takasugi was very inspired by his work, by everything from the tone of his texts to the literary choices and turn of phrase, and if truth be told, he only entered the writing and publishing industry in an attempt to meet the man himself. He managed to get one, tiny short story published in a larger anthology and was why he was invited to the two-thousandth published book celebration networking party by the publishing house. Shouyou, one of the publishing house’s most prolific authors, was also invited and came, unexpectedly. He beckoned Takasugi over to the refreshments table. As Takasugi approached, almost childishly flattered as he had only really spoken to Shouyou once or twice before, he noticed that Shouyou had a plus one. 

“Oh,” Takasugi said.

Gintoki grinned at him. 

“You know each other?” Shouyou asked. Although everyone around him was in suits, he was still wearing an old fashioned kimono. It fit with his subject matter, which was usual historical fiction that revolved around antiquated philosophy and sacrifice. “Then I suppose I don’t need to introduce you. Gintoki is my...well, I suppose ‘one I mentored’ is wordy, but he isn’t officially my son...he’s seen me as a father figure, I suppose. Wouldn’t you say?”

“Shouyou’s been like a dad to me,” Gintoki agreed. 

“Did you know Shinsuke was an author? How do you know each other, in fact?”

“We don’t know each other that well,” Takasugi said. “We just live in the same building.”

“We don’t know each other that well?” Gintoki echoed. “Actually I think we’re pretty close. I’m hurt to hear you say that.” He looked at Takasugi up and down. “Although if you really were an author...you would have bragged about it more, so I’m assuming you haven’t even had anything published yet. A wannabe author.”

“Now, now, don’t be needlessly cruel, Gintoki. Shinsuke’s trying his best, aren’t you?”

Takasugi took a flute of champagne and drank it in its entirety in lieu of answering. At that moment, the president of the publishing house tapped the microphone at the podium and asked for all guests’ attention. Shouyou waltzed off to chat with other illustrious authors, and Takasugi thought Gintoki would follow but they remained in the back of the room.

“I haven’t seen you since that night,” Gintoki said.

“What is there to see? I don’t have any intention of seeing you.”

“Yeah? Even though you kissed me first--”

(Takasugi was dozing off on one of the sofas in the apartment lobby. Gintoki had run a late night errand to buy milk since Kagura insisted on drinking milk every morning - “Mommy said before she died that milk was why she had such a good figure and brother hates milk, so I’m going to look like Mommy.” - and walked right past the sleeping figure before guilt of being a good, model citizen made him turn back. “You’re sleeping in public,” he said, shaking Takasugi with the hand not holding the carton of milk. “You’re being a public menace. Hey, rich boy! The world doesn’t revolve around you!”

Takasugi’s eyes blinked. “Oh, it’s you,” he said, focusing vaguely on Gintoki. He smelled faintly of spirits. “I hate you, you know. You're so childish but you act like you have your life together even though you don’t have a steady job and you’ve got a kid who isn’t even yours. And you’re a terrible father, and you just let her run around, don’t you care what happens to her? My father made sure I didn’t embarrass him and he still does, honestly, and,” he said, before grabbing Gintoki’s collar and forcefully pulling him down. There was no one in the lobby at that hour besides the security cameras and Gintoki flailed when Takasugi kissed him, clumsily like he hadn’t kissed anyone before. “Take me to your room.”

“You are drunk,” Gintoki laughed. “You’re such a mess! You should look at yourself. I should take a video for posterity. Maybe then you won’t act all high and mighty.” 

Takasugi kissed him again in the elevator and put a hand up his shirt. Gintoki pressed him away with the milk carton. “Quit that, you drunkard. You’re way too drunk to be doing anything like that.”

“I’m not,” Takasugi said, although he was slurring. “You just want to pretend to be the bigger man, like you actually hate me.” He put his head in the crook of GIntoki’s shoulder.

“I actually do hate you.” He half-carried Takasugi back and deposited him in his room so he didn’t make a fuss and wake Kagura in the living room. Gintoki put the milk in the fridge and fetched Takasugi some water and packed up their lunch boxes for the next morning. His job in the morning started almost immediately after he dropped Kagura off at the kindergarten so he didn’t have time to pack the lunch in the morning. Takasugi was looking around his room when he returned. 

“Sobered up now?”

Takasugi’s eyes were clearer. “My head’s not spinning anymore.” His voice was less unsteady. “You brought me to your room instead of bringing me to my apartment. Are you sure you’re not looking for anything?”

Gintoki took the cup of water from Takasugi’s hands and placed it on the desk and laid Takasugi down carefully on his bed.)

“--you don’t want to see me?” Gintoki was standing right next to him and whispering in his ear, because the speech was going on and it was rude to speak too loudly and because he could, standing a whole three-quarters head taller than Takasugi. Takasugi felt Gintoki’s fingers on the small of his back.

“You’ve got a child,” Takasugi murmured. “And I’ve got no time for you.”

“I want to make breakfast for you,” Gintoki said, as if he didn’t hear Takasugi. “And I want you to take me out to dinner. Expensive, obviously.” The elbow Takasugi pressed into his side was half-hearted and Gintoki’s hand was now flat against his back. Takasugi could feel Gintoki leaning into him and knew Gintoki would stop if he moved away. Takasugi knew this and he did not shift; Gintoki’s mouth was light against his temple like he was sharing a secret and he pulled away. 

“I would never be top priority for you anyway,” Takasugi said as the room erupted in a light applause. “Nor would I want to be. I don’t need to be coddled like a child.” 

Shouyou found them standing a polite distance away from each other when he finally returned to the hors d’oeuvres tables. “Have you two been milling about here the entire time? There are a bunch of delightful people I’d like you to meet, Shinsuke. You might find their brains interesting to pick apart. Come along too, Gintoki.” It was brought up during a conversation that Gintoki was raising a child alone; it elicited words of sympathy and amazement and Gintoki basked in the not-so-deserved praise. It seemed most people thought he had been abandoned by a witch of a woman. 

“She’s a wonderful girl,” Gintoki said, his chest puffed out. Kagura may as well have been his blood daughter. “She’s lovely and gets along with everyone she meets. Takasugi’s met her; he loves her too.”

Takasugi bowed his head when all eyes turned to him. “I don’t think she likes me much, though.”

[=]

“Please,” Gintoki said. Kagura was looking up at them from where she was standing behind Gintoki’s leg. “I don’t...anything you make for dinner is fine. I’ll be back before her bedtime but I just got called out for a job and it’ll be quick but I can’t bring her along. It’s such short notice I can’t call anyone else for a babysitter and - can’t you do it? It’ll only be a few hours.”

Takasugi looked down at Kagura. She looked back up at him, with her book bag around her shoulders with her kindergarten homework and a coloring book and her tiny cell phone with Gintoki’s number programmed in along with her father’s and the Shimura household. Gintoki was occasionally hired to babysit the Shimuras’ youngest son and he and Kagura had a tentative working friendship. “I don’t know if I can,” Takasugi said, blanching at the idea of looking after such a tiny body. 

“It’ll be easy. She knows how to go to the bathroom by herself and just give her a spot in your living room and she’ll do homework and everything. She eats anything, don’t you?” She did not answer him and continued staring up at Takasugi, almost warily. “Please. You’ll never have to babysit her ever again, I’ll start training her to use the stove from now on.”

“Don’t say such stupid things. You better hurry.” Gintoki pushed Kagura into Takasugi’s apartment with relief. “If she hates me from now on, that’s on you. I’m an only child, I don’t know how to take care of kids...”

“You’ll be fine. Thanks a lot.” Takasugi thought Gintoki might give him a kiss on the cheek - it fit his brash character - but he did not, only giving Kagura a quick smile before rushing off. He felt Kagura’s eyes bore right into the side of his head. 

In the end, Kagura settled at the corner of the coffee table in front of the television and began practicing her characters. This felt unusual to Takasugi, who watched her cautiously from the kitchen. Kagura was a child he imagined to raise all hell; her voice was loud just like her foster father and she bossed around the boy with glasses who Gintoki sometimes watched over too. He had feared that once Gintoki left, she would rage on a path of destruction out of spite of being left alone, but instead she was sitting and quietly working. Still, it seemed her silence was out of malice; she had no interest in really talking to Takasugi or even acknowledging he was around at all. She ignored him when he asked her what she liked to eat. 

He called his editor in the bathroom. “Quick, tell me what kids like to eat.”

“I’m sorry,” Bansai said. “The number you dialed cannot be reached. I am also calling the police now for suspicions of child abuse.”

“Probably for the best and then he’d never drop her off to me again.”

There was a long pause. “Children meals usually have hamburger steak and curry,” Bansai said. “What’s this about, anyway?”

“A neighbor of mine just dropped their kid off with me for a few hours and I have no idea how to deal with her. I’m not a child care center. I only know how to write.”

“And not even that. I’m considering a career change to an idol’s manager after dealing with you. Do you need me to come over? Why are you calling me anyway? You always ignore my calls when you have a deadline.”

There was a knock on the door. “Excuse me,” Kagura called, although she sounded like she was being overly polite for the sake of being polite. “Are you done having a dump? I need to pee. And I’m hungry.”

“Are you in the bathroom?” Bansai asked. “Are you hiding from the child?”

Kagura called politely again from behind the door that she could not reach the sink to wash her hands but refused to open the door when Takasugi brought her a little stool. “Gin said I can’t touch anything before I wash my hands after using the bathroom,” she said flatly. “I don’t want to get bad germs on your door.”

“How are you going to wash your hands then? Do you want to stay in there forever?” She ignored him. Takasugi tried the door and noticed it was not locked in the first place. Kagura jumped when he appeared; she was decent, but she was clearly not expecting him. He thought it deducted some points on his behalf because she was glowering at him after leaving the bathroom as he pulled out a packet of curry roux. 

“Extra carrots,” she said.

“What are you, a rabbit?” When he scooped out a ladle of curry for her, mostly carrots, she swallowed it all before he even had time to sit down to eat as well. 

“More please.” Takasugi watched her eat through more than half of the food he prepared. “Not that flavorful without apples, but passable,” she allowed. After she was finished, she wiped her mouth and returned to her corner in the living room, far away from him and without further acknowledgement. She finished her homework around the time he finished doing the dishes and she was laying out her art supplies. Takasugi considered giving her a glass of milk, thought it was foolish of him not to just ask her, and then brought it over to her anyway. She glanced at it and let it sit near her arm. He turned on the television. 

Kagura was determined not to interact with him in any way because her head stayed firmly down on her coloring book even after Takasugi switched through several channels. She touched her milk once. Takasugi felt his phone vibrate and it had received a message from Gintoki, who only said he was coming back with a ridiculous emoji. When he looked up, Kagura was looking up at him as if she knew who he had received a mail from.

“Do you and Gin do sex?” she asked. 

“Once,” Takasugi said. “Do you even know what that means?”

She looked back at her coloring book. “It must be boring if you only want to do it once.”

Takasugi did not let her goad him into saying anything unbecoming of an adult. “Do you hate me?”

Kagura switched colors. Her art set was well used, the crayons short nubs and the colored pencils sharpened down. Most children would have thrown out the set at that point, but Kagura was carefully placing each item between her fingers so she wasn’t straining. “Gin says I should be nice to you because you’re lonely.”

“I really don’t care if you hate me.” 

“What if Gin hated you?”

“I don’t care either.”

(“Too bad he’s got such a bad attitude,” Gintoki sighed as he shook out Kagura’s broken umbrella at the door. He would leave it hanging on the door knob of the apartment to remind him to throw it out when he was taking out the trash. He was sighing in the way he did when the girls he called on his phone said they were too busy. It was the sighing he did when Sakamoto came and didn’t take off his sunglasses inside and gave her some toys and asked Gintoki if he was ever going to settle down.  
“Why too bad?” Kagura asked, taking off her galoshes. Gintoki only sighed again.)

Gintoki came back looking weary. Kagura herself was starting to become droopy around the edges. She went straight for Gintoki’s arms and left Takasugi to collect her homework and art supplies into her bag. “Thanks a lot,” Gintoki said again, and this time with Kagura dozing against his shoulder, he leaned over far and pressed a kiss to Takasugi’s cheek. Takasugi thought him being tired might have been part of it. “Was she too much?”  
“She was alright.” He gave Gintoki her belongings. “Do you need my help with anything? You’re tired and - it would be as payback for when you helped me.” He wondered if he sounded too forward. Gintoki shook his head.

“I’m fine. You’re bad, though, trying to get me when I’m weak and down and out.”

“I’m not...! You wish.”

“Gin,” Kagura mumbled sleepily. “He’s okay.” They said nothing but she was finished with her speech and settled back comfortably in Gintoki’s arms. He adjusted the weight so he could continue carrying her.

“You’ve gotten the queen’s blessing,” Gintoki whispered. “How do you feel? Do you want to date now?”

“Just put her to bed,” Takasugi said, pushing them out of his apartment. Gintoki eased the tiny book bag over his shoulder so it was easier to take with him. Kagura mumbled in her sleep. Takasugi watched them retreat toward the elevators before whispering at Gintoki’s back, “I’ll think about it.” Gintoki was just starting to turn around when Takasugi closed the door and locked it.

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I wrote a single dad AU sort of for HaseGin but I'm a sucker for single dad Gin. Thanks for reading!


End file.
